How many pills can you take in a day

So I have been sick since Tuesday and taking additional pills since Wednesday these added to my full array that I alredy take. I figure if I had a swallowing problem, I would be up the creek by now. On a normal day I take 5.5 prescription pills and about 10 vitamin/supplements. Now I have added an additional 5 pills plus an inhaler and cough syrup. Then add in the 6 ibuprofen and 1-2 darvocet prn and there you have it! I think if someone put a hole in me I would just start dispencing pills!
I can see why the drug companies are doing so well. I would like to say that I am off to work today but have decided to stay home and get lots of rest. My cough still sounds terrible but I do seem to have gotten my voice back. So I will enjoy the rest. Dear Lord please watch over my Mama Grace Goodwin and give her a good day. Please place your healing hand on my chest so I can get better to serve you. Amen

On being sick...again

Well as you can see I am getting sick again. Today I will make an appointment and go to the Doc to get whatever I need to get better. I usually wait until I am extremely sick but this time I am going straightaway. This came on very quickly when I woke up yesterday morning it was there. Usually I get to feeling bad then it goes on for a week or so then I get bad. This one is different. It is probably something new that someone is shooting over our way! I am still very disenchanted with our school system. There seems to be no end to the mess here. I am now counting my months and days to graduation and I really hope that he graduates! I am suppose to start helping Mr.Bob in Benevelonce on Thursdays tomorrow. My therapist is out taking care of her aging husband Mr.Jim. Mr. Jim is 87 years old and was a POW and spent over a year in a terrible place and had terrible things done to him while there. I really admire him so much. When I help Mr.Bob I am suppose to do an exit interview with those we were able to help and then pray with them. I am glad to be able to do this for those who have so little. I was able to see Mom yesterday and sit with her during dinner. She drank 2 Boost meal replacements and had 2 small bites of her PBJ sandwich. I was thankful for the 2 bites and the 2 Boost she would have. She was in a good mood yesterday evening when I was there. She had been in a very bad mood when she woke up and they had to give her an Ativan to calm her down. Yeah for the Ativan and Boo for whatever caused her bad mood and with Mom who knows! God please take care of my Mom today and please let her have a good mood today.

Jerry and school

Today I am so perplexed over school these days. I do not understand any more how they operate. Things use to be so open between school and home and parents and now I see more and more a control issue. I know there has always been some control but now there seems to be a flexing of the muscle if yo will. I am SO glad this is my last kid in school. I honestly do not think I could go thru this again. I am so glad that we homeschooled for the 5 years we did. It was an incredible time of learning and bonding together. When Jerry went to 8th grade in public school it was alot of fun for him and an eye opener of how much busy work there was and all the time wasted as well. Then he went on to high school and each year was a skin of the teeth passing. Now he is in his last year of school. Not only is he facing the fear and uncertainies of college vs work but he also has a teacher that is on him. I finally had to write her this morning to let her know that he was going to stay in this other teachers class that he has been attending while the primary teacher was out on medical leave for 8 weeks. I wrote a very nice email to her thanking her for the last 3.5 years of watching over Jerry and telling her that Jerry was going to stay in the temp class he was attending while she was out. I asked her to continue to encourage Jerry to stay on track to finish school etc. She immediately sent me a copy of the email and the note she sent to the attendence office that Jerry was switching to this other teacher for the rest of the year. This would have been ok but she also included that he had been tardy this week and was being counted on her roll as tardy and she did not want this reflected on her roll. Knowing this woman for the last 10 years I can tell you it was not done with Jerrys interest in mind but her own and as a spite. It is either her way or the highway. You never question her or go against her. She has always tried to be the kids best friend but then she will tell them about stuff other kids have done...sex...drugs...3 some's etc.etc. She has often told me on the phone about other kids and used their names etc, and even told me about the parents of these kids. I have always listened and took things in my stride then tried to forget it all. Now I am seeing really clear what some of the kids have told me over the years about Miss Jane (not her real name). I always have gone to the teachers side most of the time and tried to see why they did things they way they did. Hindsight really is 20/20. If you get mad at her or heaven forbid leave her class you pay the price. I can only hope reprucussions will not follow in his wake. She can be a vengeful and even spiteful woman. She can also be your best friend....as long as you are playing on her field and sahe is the grand pooba in charge. I am glad we only have 5 months to go til graduation day!

Sisters

Wow! I cannot believe the different thoughts this one word brings up for me. Just the very word brings several thoughts and emotions. One..always there, rock solid, lots of knowledge. The other..un-resolved differences, not available physically and sometimes even mentally. Sister number 1 is Rachel and sister #2 is Rebecca. It is wierd how we all share the same parents and the same blood but how we are so very different. It is also strange how we can be apart for so many years and then clear the air and pick-up where we left off with of course new ground rules and boundaries. In the past I could always tell sister #1 how I really felt about Mom and the feelings I had inside. I decided a few months ago to stop this as I could tell this was very depressing for her. So I put on my almost happy face and now only tell her the good stuff. She is much better this way ad I cope with how I really feel. Being the primary care giver and over seeer is very difficult at times. Each and everything about Mom has to be thought out and expanded on, turned backwards and forwards then around and around. I always pray and ask God to help me make the right decisions for Mom. Then I do all the second guessing of it all. Sister #2 has recently returned to my life via of all things (facebook). However it was done is no matter the good part is that it has been done. We talk alot and she calls me quite frequently and emails daily. She has given me some ideas for Mom and listens. We have discussed Mom and her feelings toward her and it is so good to know that she has forgiven Mom for all the times she was so mean to her. She calls her Mom now and even has told me she loves her. As of late she has taken up sending Mom pretty cards thru the mail. Mom just loves to get mail or at least she use too now I do not know, but she loves to hold on to things. I am glad I have both sisters in my life and I continue to pray that God will make a way for them to reconsile to each other and become friends again. All things in his time.

On Mom

Mom...Mother..Mom...
Mom is loosing the battle and it has been so hard to watch. She is 103lbs I think is the figure they gave me on Tuesday. I go and smile and re-direst and do anything and everything I can to try just for a moment to bring her some happiness. I drive home and cry. It is the no control issue. I could beg and plead and cry and still she would not eat. She is just tired of all that I guess. Tuesday I stayed with her through luch and glory be they brought her regular food not the pureed stuff. I sat and cut thew lasagna up and she used her hands to actually pick some up and put it in her mouth and chewed it up and swallowed it. I was amazed to say the least. She had a few green beans and a bite of potatoe but did not like that much. She drank all her boost too. I was estatic over the lasagna bite. I told all the CNA's that were in the dining room that Mom had ate by herself and even swallowed it! This gave me a tremendous high for the day. I had to leave to go to work and one of the girls came over to encourage her to eat some more. I hope she did.
I have realized that I cannot really share my true feelings about Mom with family members so I don't anymore. I realize that this is just too hard for them to hear the daily or weekly reports or when I leave there and just cry. So I mostly keep all this to myself. There is a group I think I will join that meets on Friday nights. It is a place where I could share my real and true feelings and the hurt that eats at me inside and the guilt that still plagues me at times too. It is mostly the real true pain of hurting for someone else that you dearly love and the pain and hurt you see them going thru. The eyes are the window to the soul and Mom's eyes look sad most of the time. I did not know what a toll this was taking on me until someone pointed it out recently. So I will work on this and attend the group meetings so I can cope better. I do not want my family to suffer because of my suffering over Mom so I have to get pro-active and get this under control and I will.

winter thoughts

My goodness I did not know how long it has been since my last post! I would like to write more in 2010. Time and events will tell that story.
The fall was rather warm but actually nice too. We had a ton of rain and I mean a ton. We moved (again) to a cool house sat on an acre of land in BWB. It was suprising to find this place and really like it. It is very peaceful here with hardly any traffic or noise. Our dogs really love the yard.
Christmas came and it was a really nice time of the year. There was no frenzied hurrying to get the last minute gift this year. I shopped each pay day as money afforded and ordered on line too. I tried to stay out of the stores as much as possible. Ed and I really enjoyed the kids programs at church and the few parties we went to. Anne and Mike and kids were in the mtns and we were so happy that they made it home on the 24th for service and after party that we always have at our home. Everyone was here Christmas eve night and what a wonderful feeling that was for me to know all my (babies) were safe once again under one roof! We had a delightful morning and loved watching the kids open up their presents and get their bikes from us. It was pure joy! WE rolled into the new year with Ed and I watching the ball drop safe at home being warm and together. Everyone else was at New Years parties or out with Friends. Jerry came home on New Years day announcing his first real fight which I thought not bad for being 17 and a Senior. The fight was justified as it was over one of his friends who is a girl and attached. Evidently another big guy in the crowd pushed her really hard and Jerry stepped in to defend her and it went downhill from there. The other guy who was an adult got arrested and so did others. In his words it was a real brawl with everyone getting invovled. His words to us were..I never knew how strong I was! We have always told him to never throw the first punch but if you are punched you can defend yourself. I am glad he has retained that info. The adult guy threw the first punch at him and hit him on the browbone. Needless to say Jerry hit back, so now he knows what a real fight feels like. January has been an extremely cold month. We even had a 40% chance of snow one night. It did not happen but we had ice on the cars in the morning. We have got down to 17 I believe. Ed and I are celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary today. It can seem like 100 years ago sometimes. I have been married since I was 18 and a Mom since I was 19. I am still mothering Jerry. I do not think we will do anything special today however we do plan to go to Pensacola sometime this weekend to our favorite Italian resturant. That will be fun!