A very strange feeling

Today I went to see my Momma at Silvercrest. She was so happy to see me and told me all sorts of things which I could not understand but some things I could decode. I visisted for about an hour and a half then had to leave to go to work. As soon as I was leaving the building I had the strangest feeling wash over me. Almost a foreboding. I got in the car and drove the loop over to Walmart. I wanted to grab a new bottle of foundation while being close to the Walmart. When I parked my car I just sat there and the feeling was getting worse and worse. I almost felt like God himself was telling me to go back to Silvercrest and stay with Mom. I just cannot put into words how this felt and the effect it was having on me. I tried to reason with myself and say everything was all right and there was no reason to worry. I got out of the car and went in and just pushed the cart around for a few minutes. I was almost lost and could not even think why I came in there. Then I remembered and got the foundation and a few things for the little kids Easter baskets. I was on my way up front to check out when I almost had a panic attack. I felt it rising up in me and I was trying to just get thru the checkout and back to my car. I made it back and just sat there again wondering what was happening to me. I started the car and made it back to Niceville and to work. I really do not know how I got thru the afternoon and would not have I am quite sure if I had not sent a text msgh to a friend to start praying for me. She sent up litle angel prayers all afternoon for me and sent me sweet text messages every 30 minutes. It could have been my blood sugar was to low or too high or I may be starting down that road again with panic attacks. I really hope not. It is a bumpy road to go down. I did not have any Xanax with me as it has been at least a year since I had to take any. I will put some in my purse in case this happens again. I have been really keyed up lately and maybe all that was feeding into things. I have called and checked on Mom and Loreen eyeballed her for me too. Other than being a real handfull today after I left she seems ok. I noticed her legs today and they seem to have a pinkish purpleish color to them. They are usually white. It could have been the boots she had on. I just ask God to keep her safe and free from any harm or pain and to let all those who take care of her be kind and loving to her. Today that is all I can do. This may also have been set off by a blog my sister wrote on seeing Mom and Dad in her backyard swing. I am big on premonitions and un explained thoughts or feelings. Maybe God is getting ready to call her home. Maybe its just anxiety, maybe I will take a Xanax tonight. Dear God please keep my Momma safe and please lay your calming hand on me right now. Amen.