A report on Mom

Yesterday I went to visit Mom. I found her in good spirits and looking lovely. We had a good time together and she told me all sorts of things. I had bought her a new fuzzy pink scarf to keep her nack warm and a new pink poodle dog which she loved and a new baby blankie lovie. She was most happy with the new things. I had found an old calender that had the most beautiful pictures of flowers and such and I took it with me. I took the calender apart and placed it in blocks on the wall by her bed and put it up with thumb tacks. Now when she is laying there she will have pretty pictures to look at. One of the gals came in and looked at what I did and said wow..you put wallpaper up! I guess it does look like wallpaper, I just thought how I would feel with only a bare wall to look at. I have to be careful what I put around her bed as she rips everything off of anywhere she can reach. I did put her tub of lovie stuffed toys back by her bed so she can reach them. The girls moved them as they said she plays with them all night and throws them everywhere. I think it is ok for her to have her toys to play with and even throw them everywhere. I bet she even throws them at the girls!! I spent over an hr talking to the hospice nurse Kathy Harrell. Mom's urine was all good. They had checked it as a possible uti because her behavior one week was really bad. When will these folks learn that it is all part of the process of the disease. It bothers me mostly as they have to put a cather in to do this and I know I dont like those and I am sure Mom does not and does not even understand what they are doing so it must be scary for her. I told Kathy that I did not want this done anymore, so we will see. She also gained 5 lbs last month! I am really torn by this because they are giving her this terrible grape juice to drink that stimulates her appetite. She gets it before each meal and they get her to drink it by telling her that it is her wine!! Well it is working but I have to ask myself how I feel about something that is in effect forcing her to eat. Is this God's way to keep her alive and is this ok with him..or should we just let things go naturally and not give her the tonic. It is very hard to come up with an answer on this. I dont want her to suffer or be hungry and I do want her to live as long as she p[ossibly can, but is this the wrong thing to do. I will struggle with this until I can come up with an answer in my own mind and be at peace with the decision. To me she seems much happier these last 2 weeks and maybe that is because she is eating...who knows. I dont plan on anything anymore with life and Mom. I just take each day as it comes and bathe everything in prayer that concerns me. I pray for Mom at least 4 times a day, I pray for all my children, for my beloved sisters, for Ed, for the homeless and down trodden, for the lost and abandoned animals, for sick friends at church, for our church, for children, for rain or no rain, for the lost souls, and I even have learned to pray for myself. God listens and hears our prayers. Sometimes he may not answer right away but I know he hears our prayers. Dear God, Thank you for hearing my prayers.