Peace again

I had a good nites sleep and today feel re-energized and ready to go. I am heading out to the pain management Dr. for my check in apt. I see Dr.Monk every 4-6 weeks, she is very French and very prim and proper. She is a good Dr. and I enjoy seeing her. I get shots in my shoulders and hips and back. They give me about 5 days of rest and not so much pain so I am always glad to see her. I have noticed that my right arm feels numb at times and tingly too. It may be from overuse at work or maybe a pinched nerve or something like that. I will ask her today about it. I talked to Gleneise yesterday afternoon and she was going to get Mom to do the salt water rinse and then put her down for a nap. They are so good to her and Gleneise even called here at the house on Monday to check on Mom as she was not back yet and she was worried about her. It is so incredible how some of the staff get attached to certain residents and I can tell you that Gleneise is really attached to Momma and she is attached to her. It is so sweet to see them together. In my heart I know Mom is happy there and that makes me feel so good. There are things that need to change but of course I think that is everywhere. Dear God, Thank you for the peace that I have today.

Mama and the Dentist

Yesterday Mama had to go to the Dentist. She was having some pain on the top right and it needed to be looked at. We did x-rays and cleaning (with a soft toothbrush) and then the extractions. Mama got the nitrous and she quickly fell fast asleep. She slept thru the entire procedure. Afterwards we had a really hard time getting her to wake up even with the O2 on her. She is such a trooper even with Alzheimers, she is Amazing Grace. When I took her back to Silvercrest and we got her in bed I did not want to leave. There was MY Mama and in pain of sorts at least in my mind and needing recovery help. Could I trust thee folks to take care of her and love her thru all of this? It was so so so hard to get in the car and leave her there. I wanted to bring her home so I could tend to and Dr. her back to health myself. But I didn't. I left and went home feeling like a whipd puppy. I called twice last night and the first call was ...no, we don't know anything about her antiobiotics and needing them tonite. That was a long phone call and finally little Ashley the 500 hall nurse got in her own car and drove to Walgreens to get the meds for Mama. God please bless Ashley today in a special way. Anyway I called back 2 hrs later and Ashley told me that they got one out of the 4 pills into her. So here we stand, out of the 4 pills tried yesterday morning and the 4 last night we managed to get 2 into her which is a half a dose. I just pray that will be enough and that she will not get an infection. I thanked Ashley profusely. I called again this morning at 8:30. She is up and about and eating some breakfast now. My dear sweet Peggy went and checked on her and called to tell me she seems ok. Peggy was running an errand and will stop back about 9ish to spend some time with her and try to get some tylenol in her. She refused her meds again this morning. I wwish she would take her meds I wish she couldunderstand how important this is each day, but the understanding is gone. I just want to bring her home and take care of her here with me. My life is so up and down and we don't even know if we are staying in this house past January. Oh Mama I just miss you and just wish things could be different. I wish the kids were on there own, I wish we only had one dog and the cats, I wish I could tuck you in to bed everynight and then see you every morning to say my ususal"hello beautiful" when I am waking you up. The holidays are almost here and you are not. Yesterday you kept telling me all day long"I love you" and I kept telling you back "Mama I love you too". I was exhausted last night and fell into a fitfull sleep after my last Ashley phone call. Today I am still exhausted and long to just be with you and make sure you are ok and make sure you take your pills and rinse with warm salt water. I long. I have to go to the kitchen instead to the mounds of pots and pans and the rigerous work and the non stop moving. I love you too Mama. Dear God, You know my heart and you know how much I miss my Mama. Please take care of her today and for all the days she has left with us. Amen

A cup of tea

Many mornings I stumble to the kitchen at o dark thirty to put on the kettle. As I wait in anticipation of that first sip of liquid gold I say good morning to all the pets, they are so happy to see me! Mommy means food and lovies and in that order. I let the dogs out, lets see there is Mae the old dobie, Bonnie the 12 yr old mix, Mia the Queen...she is 15 years old, and a world traveler. Mia is a rat fox terrier and then there is Daisy the almost 1 year old beagle. This dog makes us all crazy! While the dogs are out I take care of the kitties. There is Ayce, she is 15 years old, tabby...world traveler, then we have Cyrstal, a rescue kitty from Destin. Crystal is a strange cat and very large and fluffy, and did I say very moody! Then we have Noel, a stray that came to us on Christmas day about 5 years ago. Lastly we have Guchi....well you know the story on him and he is just fun! He may be 7 weeks by now. Yes, eight animals is alot but you know they bring us so much happiness. We do not expect Mia and Mae to be around much longer. Ayce is very old too at 15. They have all lived good lives and Mia and Ayce have been with us since Montana so they are extra special to us. That was such a wonderful time in our lives. There was sadness too but for the most part wonderful. One day I will write about all of that. For today however I sit and sip my liquid gold and watch the animals play and sleep and realize that life is good. Dear God, Thank you for all our pets and thank you that we can love and feed them and care for them until they go to kitty and puppy heaven.

The job, my therapy.

So you may be wondering how my pt job is going down at the school. I am happy to report that I am still there and still burried deep in pots and pans. Actually I have been keeping the 2 serving lines stocked while another co-worker washes dishes. It is pretty nice. Oh I still do the washing up but not constantly. I may wash a few when I get there and then right before our 12:30 break when all the kids have left. I usually try to do a mad dash to get everything caught up before we eat. Then after the break I hit it again and get everything washed and put away by 1:30. I think when I came everyone thought I was just there to do the washing up, and that is what I did. However 2 weeks ago things changed. Miss Pearl must have talked to everyone and told them her new plan to get me doing the serving lines and that they had to wash while I was re-stocking. I think most everyone is ok with that. It has been good for me too.
I continue to go see my Mom every Tues and Friday after work, she looks forward to seeing me and I can't hardly wait to go and see her and catch up with the latest buzz and the gossip! It is so funny how I never thought that old people did gossip but boy Have I found out different. I also do volunteer work at the church on Monday, Wednesday and Thursdays from 2-4. I have been working on putting a resource booklet together on the computer for small groups. It is a huge project but I am really having fun learning publisher. I will start volunteering with a psychiartrist on Thursdays from 2-5 in a week or so. It is also at our church and there may be a paid job somewhere down the road with her. We already have a lady that does counseling for our church members and others but she is so overloaded that we need someone to help her. I am glad that I can help wherever needed. Ed and I spend Saturdays together and watch movies and go for a ride sometimes. We go to church on Sundays and do various things during that time. Sunday evenings we always have family time and dinner. It is so much fun to have everyone here and of course the grandbabies. I am a blessed woman. Dear God, Thank you for my job and thank you that I can help wherever needed at church to bring others to you.

Cooler weather....Finally!

OMG the cooler weather has finally arrived! Now I can remember why we love living in Florida...in the fall/winter time. It has been really cool at night , like maybe 36ish and warm during the day, like 65ish. I finally turned the heat on and let it run just enough to warm the house up. It has to be really cold and damp for me to turn the heat on as most of you know. It has been great to put sweaters on, and the scarves and gloves even!01111111111111111111101 That was from Guchi crawling on the key board, sorry. But back to the cool weather.....we have cleaned up the yard and trimmed and pruned all the bushes and I have to say that it looks really good. This is a rental house and we really only have to keep the grass mowed. We have always tried to keep up our place wherever that might be and whether here or abroad. It makesus feel good to know we are doing our part. I hope the cooler weather will stay for a very long time, it just invigorates my soul! Thank you dear God for the wonderful weather you have sent our way!

Guchi girl err...guy

Thank you to Anne for helping me get back into my site! You are awesome!!
This little, tiny, pathetic kitten came to our house about a month ago. Jerry (bless his heart) brought Guchi home one night very late. He had been at a friends house and there was a litter of kittens and the Momma Cat was not giving this kitten any attention as he was the runt of the litter. He was covered from head to tail in fleas and incredibly starving literally. I told Jerry that he probably would not make it thru the night. Jerry gave him 2 baths to remove the fleas and he still had about 50 on his super tiny body. He wrapped him up and took care of him thru the night. The next morning I opened the guest bath where I told Jerry to put him and to my suprize he was alive and...hungry. We fed him about every 3 hrs during the day and he was loved on and put back each time in his room for rest. He cried all the time non stop trying to communicate to us. We just kept cuddling him and telling him he was going to be ok. This was the pattern for the first week. I thought if he could make it a week then he just might make it and live. Now the weeks have gone on and I now feel that Guchi girl as I called her will make it. She looks great eats well and sleeps well and loves to be cuddled. She still crys some but mostly for food or to be held. The fleas are all gone and we think he may weigh a pound and a half maybe. When he came he may have been 5 oz, at best. He is going to the walk in clinic at the pet store this weekend for a shot and worming. The plan was to keep her till I felt she could be adopted, which I think is now. However, I think we have all gotten very close to this little life. I try not to but I just cannot help it. Well by now you have probably noticed that I go from calling the kitten a him and a her. He was so tiny that only now have we been able to tell that indeed it is a boy. It has felt like having a newborn in the house. I love my son for his tender side. He has a huge heart and especially for puppies and kittens and little children. So now in this last year he has brought us a puppy, and a kitten. We love you Jerry but please, no more animals!

Friday

This week has gone by incredibly fast. Each day I watch my hands get more red and sore. I am keeping my focus tho on why I am even at this job. I bought myself a pair of gloves that Annie suggested this week. I will try them out starting Momday and see if it will make a difference. I finished part one of Lew's project on Thursday. Once I got going it was really easy, however i did have to really concentrate on it. I really need some new glasses as I can hardly see out of my current prescription. It's funny how things change. I use to go faithfully each year to the opt. Now as I have to pay for most of it I go maybe every 3 years, not good I know.
I went to see Mom today and we had a great visit. I had called this morning and instructed the floor nurse to not give her the noon pill. I told her that since they had changed it from 25 to 50 mg she is really hard to wake up when I come to visit. I did not notice it before returning to work as I always went in the mornings. Since I now get there about 2:00 I have seen the difference. Today I took Mom to Walmart to just go and get about 4 items we needed at home. She did very well and I was very mindful to not walk her around too much. She had the best time talking to everyone's baby! That's my Mama and that is where I got it from too. When we returned she wanted to stop at the first visiting room to sit and visit. This was strange because she al;ways likes the other room. I figured out that she was just tired from the little trip that we took to the store. I noticed that Dr. Christopher was at the desk so I got Mom settled and went to talk to her abput the noon pill. I told her about Mom reaching out and grabbing at things that were not there and of the snake and spider episode. She told me that those are delusions that can be brought on with Mom's condition and the medicine she is on. I told her about the excessive sleepiness and hard to awaken in the afternoons. She decided to change her back for 2 weeks to the 25mg of seroquel and we will see how she does. She was put on that a few months ago as she was agitated in the afternoons and one day slapped a CNA and a resident. So lets hope she can stay happy and not start hitting again.
I thought today again about Mom being with me or the Rach. She has slowed down so much but I still can see Mom in there and especially when she is not on the higher dose of the seraquel. I wish she could be with a family member and then other times I am glad she is close to me. I still wonder about the quality of life she has at Silvercrest vs. a real home with family members around. I wonder what she would be like if she did not take the noon seraquel. I trust Dr. Christopher and I know she really cares about my Mama. She has a Mama in the other place in CV with similar problems as Mom so today we discussed being on the other end. She is very open and I know she hurts at times too for her Mother in law. We will press on. I did call to talk to Rach today and left a message but she was out and about. I hope she had a fun day and is happy. I am glad she has a man who loves her so supremely. She is a very lucky woman. Dear God, Please let Mama stay in a happy, non-aggressive state so she can have a lower dose of meds in the afternoon and please keep her safe and healthy.

The Decision

Friday was the day to set my mind free. It was going to have to be "The decision" day. I had been struggling since the previous week with my Mama. I had gone to visit her as usual and this time when I announced it was time to go she asked "can I come too?" This literally crushed me as this was the first time in 9 months that she had asked to come home. From that point on I rolled it around every which way as you can see when you read the previous entry. I had even begun to not sleep over this thing, I had to give it a rest with a decision. Before I saw Mom on Friday I visited with Meg who is the admissions/social services/counselor lady. Really she does it all...except hands on nursing. She listened to me then brought up many points that I had not considered. She is very compassionate and ended with "if your Mom was in her right mind and could function within the family then by all means I would say take her home." But you and I both know where she is at and where she is headed and it will not get any better. She will continue to loose ground and become more confused. It would be too much to change my family around again. They are the ones who will feel the effects of Mom coming back, they will remember, Mom will not. She is right of course. Then I went down to Mom's room where she was sleeping. She was doing the reaching out thing to grab whatever she sees in her dreams. She also was doing some shaking and jumping a bit as well. These dreams that she has have become mostly halucinations. One day she sat bolt upright and started getting the snakes off the bed, then I stomped on them and told her they were dead, she went back to sleep peacefully. Another time it was spiders, another time it was someone chasing her, etc. Could I deal with all of this? Probably not. I stood over her just watching for a good 5 minutes, then I tried to wake her up, she opened her eyes and smiled then went back to sleep to catch whatever was there. I have decided these are either angels or faries that fly over her while she sleeps. Usually when she is trying to catch them she has a smile on her face, so I will think these are good things for now. I have let go of my guilt and given it to God. He has told me over the weekend that it is all ok. Mom is being taken care of and for the most part happy. I will still go and visit her, however I am going to look at this differently now. She is my Mom in person but the Mom I knew for so many years has left. She has a familiarty with me and sometimes knows my name and that I am her daughter, other times we are just good friends. It is the cycle of life, some of us go out with a bang with all our faculities, and some of us go out with none. I tell Mom all the time that one day we will all be in heaven together. We will have a new body and new mind and that all the family will be there. Family was the most important thing to Mama. She passed that on to me and I believe and hope that I have passed that on to my children. I will forever love and adore her. I will look at her memory box every day that my sis made and remember the wonderful woman that was my role model for so many years. I will cherish those memories and look forward to the day we will all be together again in Heaven, that wonderful place God has promised to us for those that believe. Dear God, Please take care of my Mama. Please give her water to drink and please let her remember how to chew and swallow to nourish her body. Please keep her safe and happy until you call her home to be with you.

late night thoughts

This is my favorite time of the day. Everyone is in bed, all the animals are asleep and my house is simply quiet. It is wonderful! I have been thinking for two days now about bringing Mama home. It has taken up alot of my free mind time and I have turned and twisted and looked at the pros and cons and I am still not decided. Granted if she were here she would be treated like the princess she is and waited on hand and foot. She would always have something to drink and she would always be taken to the bathroom. She would be looked after and treated so gently and that is where the problem lies. When Mama is here she is treated well and provided for her every whim and that is all that gets done until she takes her afternoon nap or goes to bed in the evening. She is on a good schedule when she is with me. She is up usually by 8 then its breakfast and coffee. Then I get her dressed and hair combed and makeup put on lipstick and perfume. Then she watches TV for a while then we may ride out somewhere or not. Then we have lunch by 12 na dshe is off to nap from 1-3 or 2-4. I do not let her sleep more than 2 hrs usually. I get her up and we have a snack then watch TV or sing some or take a short walk. We have dinner by 6 then evening TV and off to bed by 8. She most always sleeps all night now. This is a 24-7 care she needs. She cannot be left alone so I have to arrange care for her if I go out at all, usually I just take her with me. I did not have much help before she went to CV. I think for the last 4 weeks I had a very young lady come for 4 hrs once a week. Sometimes I would just go and sit somewhere. I really needed help. If I bring her back now I need to have her Dr's consent and she will want me to tell her who is going to help me. I think I may be able to get some help this time so I could have at least one or two days to do errands. I may be able to get a weekend a month or at least 24 hrs even from Peggy who is one of her care givers right now on the weekends. All this needs to be explored first. The next thought is that I would really like to keep my 3 hr a day job fro 2 reasons. One is that I need to keep my foot in the door with the school system and 2 is that it would be good for my mental health I think. However I would have to get committed folks to help for 4 hrs a day. I have to leave by 10:10 and I get off at 1:30 and would be home by 1:45 if I did not stop any where else. I thought about asking Natalie for at least 2-3 days a week then ask Anne maybe for one day a week and then get a sitter the other day. Boy if I did that I have to have back-ups and then when Mom is not feeling well I might have to stay with her. Also I am not sure how I could handle coming home tired each day and then having to cook dinner and get her to bed etc. I am just not sure that I could keep my job and care for Mom too. I had figured out this schedule if I kept working. Get Mom up by 8 to have coffee and eat with her. Get her dressed and all set 9:30. The get myself dressed and ready to go and walk out the door by 10:15. I would have to have part of the dinner prepped in the a.m. before I get her up. That means that I would start my day at 6 when I get Jerry up for school, no more going back to bed for 2 hrs. Then she would have time to watch TV and get her lunch with whoever was here. If she did not go down fro her nap at one then I would see her at 1:45 and hopefully get her down by 2ish. Then when she gets up we would have time to visit in the afternoon and evening. I would try for a sitter on Saturdays or Sunday afternoon so Ed and I could have time to get out by ourselves. I would try for 1 24 hr period once a month at possibly Peggy's home like Sat about 11 to Sun about the same time. It is a lot of planning to make sure I have coverage to work if I choose to do that and if not to at least have some free time each week and once on the weekend. If I got sick or had to go to the hosp or whatever I would have to make sure Ed or Nat could handle things. I would use the bathroom by the kitchen for her and give her a shower bath on one of those shower chairs each week. I would take her to get her hair done once a week and to the calmer church service on Sundays. We would go out to eat possibly at least once a week or just for a nice ride. It's all about Mom when you have her because Alzheimers robs her of the ability to do for herself so it is like having a 3 year old. As long as she sleeps and naps each day I could manage. I would need Ed's blessings and his help sometime. The main thing is the sleep. I do not want to have my family feel neglected or angry because they are all needy for me. I wonder if I could continue to work....Now the other thing I wonder is about the activity level that she has now at Silvercrst. Oh, she does not do the activities there such as Bingo and the Price is right or field trips etc. She just cannot do those anymore in a group setting, however she does have a good established routine there. She walks the halls just a small amount now and stops and visits with most everyone she meets. She see's people coming and going all the time and listens to all their conversations etc. Heck she even does the rosary now with the Catholic ladies on Monday mornings. She goes to the church service on Wednesdays for an hr and loves to sing the old songs with everyone. She sits on the little couch and watches TV and waits for someone to come and get her or take her to lunch or dinner and the occasional potty times. Her friend Peggy comes to see her ay least 3-4 times a week in the early morning and takes her for an outside walk to look at the flowers and birds etc. Other than that and my 2-3 visits that is all she gets except her hair done on Wednesdays. She has adjusted somewhat there and to her routine of life at Silvercrest. Would she get enough stimulation here? Is it wrong to take her out of an environment she has finally accepted? What oh what is the right thing to do concerning Mom? Well I have an apt tomorrow to discuss all this with Meg at Silvercrest tomorrow afternoon, then I have to discuss it with Dr. Christopher, then Ed again, then get all the help lined up etc.etc.etc. Wow it is a huge undertaking. Here are my thoughts on why I want her here..I can manage her hydration and toileting much better and feel confident that she is gettin what she needs. I have more control over her meds and can put her back on the vitamins, she will be with her family and get to see the children each weekend on Family day Sunday afternoons. I can get more time with her and not have to drive so much. I can give her kisses anytime and say hello beautiful each morning and good night princess each evening. I can have her close. Reasons not to make the change is how will she react to another move back here, how will she handle the dogs, tile floors more noise and more comotion from everyone coming and going. How will I handle her moods and can I get enough time for my personal self and time for Ed and Jerry and Natalie. How can all this work if I continue working? Will I feel upset at giving my job up? I have questioned God so much about Mom. He seemed to have finally answered with the job but now I wonder again what he wants me to do. Yes, alot on my mind tomite and this last week. Dear God, please let me know clearly what you want me to do about Mama.

Weekends

Well mama's girl has made it thru the first whole week of work. I am keeping my eye on the job list board so I can hopefully transfer to another less physical job. I went to see my Mama twice this week and on Friday she ask if she could come home too with me. That is still on my mind. It is really hard to explain. If she comes back home I will be exhausted again but happy that she is here with her loved ones. If she stays there I know she will get further and further away from me. It really is the hardest thing I have ever done to have her there. I am so thankful that I can go and ee her anytime I want too and believe me that helps so much!
Ed and I just love the weekends. It is so quiet here as the kids are mostly gone somewhere. We usually have a movie marathon and yesterday we watched House. That is our favourite show, he is so incredibly rude but so smart at the same time. We enjoy just hanging out together. Jerry and Austin (our adopted son who is 18) went with Jake out to therir hunting camp yesterday and shot the guns. Daddy's old gun was shot and did just fine. It is amazing that something so old can still work so good when called upon. It kicks like a mule but shoots straight on. This was the gun that Jeff gave Daddy one Christmas. It was given to him I believe because daddy gave him the old spurs that meant so much to him. After Daddy passed away I offered to trade the gun back to Jeff for the old spurs. He declined so I will keep the gun!
Natalie went over to her Best friends house and they swam and sunned all day and night.
Today Ed and I were suppose to park cars but for some reason he is not into it right now. So we are at home for the moment.
I am going to a McCain rally today at 3 over on the island at the conference center. We have to get the vote out and keep Obama out and away from the White House. We just have too.
Anne and Mike left yesterday for Miami. Maddie called me last night before she went to bed and told me "Mimi, we are a long way away from you and you may have to come over here to see me cause I miss you" It was precious and made my heart swell with love. Then Wyatt got on the phone and said "Mimi, Mimi, Mimi,Mimi...yes Wyatt..what doin? Just watching T.V. ...Ok he said...then a whole minute of a sentence or five that only he understood! I just love those two precious babes so much. I wish them a wonderful cruise and lots of fun and great memories. They will head to the Keys then Cozumel and probably somewhere else then return to Miami on Friday morning. I am so glad that Mike is taking a break to be with his family. Dear God, Thank you fro my Mama, thank you for my job and please keep our babies safe while on their vacation.

New job, new thoughts

Well Mama'a girl is back at work! I am slinging hash for the kids and then doing the washing up of like a kizillion pots and pans. Man, I did not even know there were that many pots and pans made on the earth! Any way Mama's girl is really doing great physically and not experiencing any great amount ofpain. That was a great concern as to how my back was going to hold up with me being up and on my feet steppin and fetchin it. It has been a year in Oct since I had the back surgery. As long as I can handle it and not have any great amount of pain I will continue onand work towards my goal of moving back into a school secretary position. I actually feel so revitalized being out and about and feeling like a productive member of society. It has been a good move for me.
Mama's girl got to see and visit with the mama (gotta love her) this past Friday. She looks really good and is staying as active as can be. About an hr after I arrive and start chatting she emerges. She knows that she somehow knows me but not sure sometimes. On other days she knows me right off the bat. We sit and chat about nothing and everything. I remember everything she says and does. I always tell her 2 things. One is that one day soon we will all be together in Heaven and Daddy and Rachel and she and I will be there. I always add in Mike and Rebecca too. The second thing I tell her is that I love her and will always be back to see her. She always tells me that to please be careful because if anything ever happened to me she would die. We always say these same things to each other. Its familiar and comforting to both of us. I am often reminded of Jim Croce's song..time in a bottle. It reminds me of my feelings for my Mama. She is the lady with the biggest heart I know. Dear God, Thank you for my Mama and dear God thank you that I can be a Mama's girl!

Daddy and the rocking chair

Mama's girl was sittin outside this morning on the back porch rocking away enjoying the cooler weather. Daddy came to mind, I am sure because I was a sittin and a rockin. Daddy loved his rocking chair. He would sit for hours and hours just a sittin and a rockin away. He would discuss and topic you would bring up and sometimes he brought up his own. Mostly he liked to discuss the Bible and religion and sometimes he would discuss politics, mostly because of Mama. He liked to tell anyone he would meet when the decussion would turn to religion that it didn't matter what title you put on yourself. Titles were for politicians and beauty queens and folks like that. In Daddy's opinion the only title anyone needed to carry was " I am a christian". I have to say I agree 100% with him. He was a very smart and educated man. He went to Wake Forrest school as he liked to call it then on to Southwestern Theological Seminary. He became a Southern Baptist Preacher, by denomination. I believe that he heard so much about this denomination and that denomination that later in his life he just preferred to be called a Christian Pastor. Daddy was like that. Now on the politics it was a different matter entirely. He could not stand Bill Clinton and for some reason Mama thought that Bill Clinton was God's answer to prayer. She never, ever believed he had anything to do with Monica L. and almost every day I would hear them arguing over the Dems and the Reps. I tried not to engage Daddy in any political conversations as I knew I would not win! So I remained neutral when asked my opinion and this was my way of saying "I am not discussing this today" Daddy. The more he and Mama would argue the faster he would rock! I thought many times that the rocker was going to become airborne at any moment! I could just see the headlines in the Farmville News...."Preacher gets airborne as wife fusses on". God love him and he did, ....a wonderful man with so much knowledge to give and a rocking chair to preach from! Dear God, thank you for my wonderful, loving, gracious, Father and thank you for our rocking chair talks.

Cooler weather

This has been a glorious morning! First Mama's girl opened the back door and then all the windows and doors! Yes, finally it's here cooler weather where we can open our doors in the morning!!!! I am so stoked! You may think me crazy, but when you live in Florida and the windows and doors are closed about 7-8 months a year then you know what I mean. It is HOT here and to the point of opening the door to enter or leave at break neck speed! You can just touch your front or back door from the inside and feel the heat . So today I celebrate the cooler weather in the mornings, it just makes you feel re-energized and ready to tackle anything.
Mama's girl has gotten her appointment changed for the finger printing to Friday a.m. at 9:00 and as we get paid on Fridays this will work out great. Also I have been scheduled for the all day orientation on Oct 1st at 8:30. Thank you dear God for working all this out for me. You are so good and always answer our prayers...one way or another.

Teenagers

Mama's girl wonders why you love your teenager one minute and are ready to hang them out to dry the next minute. She also wonders why they love you one minute then are mad at you the next minute! Case in point..... Tonite Darling Son (DS) was suppose to be home from a friends house at precisely nine o clock. Mimi calls him at 9:05 at friends house and he says..oh, is it nine already...to which I reply NO it is now 9:05 get your A## home rather loudly. So DS shows up from friends house at 9:10 with another friend that needs a place to stay for the night. Mama's girl goes back over why I want him to learn to be on time for like the 11millioneth time and can feel her voice rising while she is trying very hard to keep it at a normal tone. DS appologizes and we kiss and makeup as only a Mom and Son can do. In the next minute DS friend calls his Mom to let him know he is staying at DS home and that is cool. Then DS friend calls his Dad...a well known alkie and spends the next 10 minutes trying to talk to his Dad while his Dad is hammered. It is all very sad. Mama's girl gives DS and Ds friend kind words of loving your parent no matter what. Next we go into the ..it's not your fault that Dad drinks every nite, you did nothing wrong etc etc etc etc. It is all very exhausting and yet in the midst of all this tormoil and emotions I feel I am at my very best. I do what I do best and that is love on people, kiss their boo boos and hurts away. My dear friend Lisa A. told me last week that I take care of alot of people and she is right. I do what I can with what I have right where I am because this is what God has planned for me to do. Love makes the world go round and right here this very night I showed a angry young man love, the kind of love and understanding that only comes from the father up above. I am his vessel and he flows thru me to touch others. Thank you dear God for teenagers.

Busy day

Mama's girl had a very busy morning! It started out with meeting a pretty sweet lady named Pearl at Ruckle Middle School. She had called me yesterday about a very part time job in the cafeteria at the middle school. I went to see her this morning, she seems to be about 65ish. The job is for 3 hrs a day helping out with keeping the food supplied on the serving line, I think as maybe a line backer. Then helping to wash the pots and pans. It will be a very fast 3 hrs a day and I will only work when school is in session. No weekends and no holidays and summers off, just what I need....a 3 hour deversion everyday. It will be therapy for me..Ha...I should pay them! The hrs may be 10-1 or 10:30 to 1:30, she, Miss Pearl is still thinkin on that one. So I am suppose to go to training tomorrow at the county offices from 8:30 to 3:00 and have $62.00 for the fingerprinting charge. Well this will be a challenge cuz I do not have that much in my account....so I have prayed and ask God to please somehow send me some money today so I can show up tomorrow. If not I will have to beg off and do training next week. Miss Pearl needs me right now...oh, decisions decisions. I will be so glad and eternally thankful when we can keep some money in our checking account and not be overdrawn. This job allows me first dibs on any new jobs in the entire school system in Okaloosa County. So, I can stay and work with Miss Pearl for 3 hrs a day for now and watch the board everyday for the new vacancies. I am ready to return to work, so, so, ready!
Yesterday Ed, my Dear Husband (DH) went for his annual review of his AAA. The scan was done several weeks ago and he finally got to see Dr. Haney His AAA has grown and is 4.5 now. The magic number is 5.0 for the surgery which when done will render him home for about 6-8 weeks. So Maybe by then I will be working fulltime and it will all be ok, God has this all in his plans. His blood pressure was way up and this is causing the AAA to get bigger because of the pressure flowing thru his veins from the BP. He is taking 2 meds daily to keep the pressure low and he said that is all he can take right now. I pray God will keep him safe and not let this thing blow out. He is my best friend and I need him to be with me for a long, long time. He has a very stressful job as he has to keep Lockheed happy and the Airforce happy and get everyone on the same page so the planes can be modified and on time! What a job. God has all this worked out so I am not to worry over this..... Dear God can I worry just a little bit........

A time to write

I have been intrigued by my Daughter's blog for quite some time now. At first I was not too sure about it, but I have to admit that new things can sometimes overwhelm me. I have enjoyed her post so much and all those wonderful pictures of my grandbabies. I always get a chuckle or too from her writings. A month or so ago my Sister started a blog on this same site inspired by Annie's writings. Both have encouraged me so here I am! I wondered what I would title my Blog and Mama's Girl came to mind. You see at one point or another in my life I was called a Mama's girl by my Brother and Sister's that I thought I was a Mama's Girl! I decided long ago that being a Mama's Girl was A-ok by me. I love my Mama so much that sometimes I can cry just thinking about her. I will try to remember some of the stories she has told me over the years. I think I will start with the first one that she ever told me and that was how I came to be...... Daddy was done havin kidz and after seven years Mama just had to have one more baby... so she did what any self respectin southern woman would do...and as it was told to me...she left the no baby cream jelly outside on the freezin back porch so it would freeze up even tho used and....get her the baby she was a wantin! In her words it worked, Daddy was dumb founded seein as how he knew the jelly cream was used and Mama.....well...she was just as happy as could be and oh say nine months later baby Grace Leigh Goodwin was born to the Preacher and Ms. Goodwin! Thank you God for cold weather and a freezin back porch. Remember these are mama's stories and as told to me over various and assundry times and again and did I say again???